雅思写作|这些常犯错误应该怎么改?

写作一直是中国考生和雅思分手的拦路虎

它的评分维度是以下4项:

●写作任务回应情况

●连贯与衔接

●词汇丰富程度

●语法多样性及准确性

其中“语法多样性和准确性”对于得分的影响

我们已经探讨过

戳 V课堂·雅思写作|为什么你的作文总是卡在分?复习

今天就从“词汇丰富程度”的角度

来看一下考鸭的常犯错误和改正思路

关键词重复

试看以下句子

Lying can never have a good outcome. Lying to someone sets them up for failure. Many times we tell lies to protect people’s feelings and save ourselves from telling uncomfortable truths. For instance, we might lie about someone’s talent, looks, dress-sense or abilities. We do this so not to offend them and we think that it\'s harmless. But in fact, our lies are actually feeding into their delusions and possibly causing them trouble later in life.

大家发现没有?

虽然这段话很切题且语法没毛病

但从“词汇丰富度”来看

关键词“lying"、"lie"重复了太多次

非常单调乏味

最终得分就这样被拉下来

因此,我们要注意:

use synonyms where possible

使用同义词来避免词汇重复

扩大文章的词汇丰富度

比如:

lying → deceiving someone

lie (as a verb) → distort the truth

lies (plural noun) → fabrications

以上段落可以改成:

Lying can never have a good outcome. Deceiving someone to someone sets them up for failure Many times we tell lies to protect people\'s feelings and save ourselves from telling uncomfortable truths. For instance, we might distort the truth about someone’s talent looks dress-sense or abilities. We do this so not to offend them and we think that it\'s harmless, But in fact, our fabrications are actually feeding into their delusions and possibly causing them trouble later in life.

同义词使用不准确

试看以下句子:

Schools need to be more conscious of the types of food that they serve to childrenbecause obesity is a major health issue. Infants are becoming increasingly obese at an alarming rate.

Kindergartens could perhaps utilize chefs to make healthier nourishments. If collegesserved better solids then teenagers would be less likely to become obese.

schools、kindergartens、colleges

都是教育机构

但其所指不同

food、nourishment、solids

虽然在某种程度上是同义词

这里的用法也很不精确

children 、infants、teenagers

都是年龄较小的孩子

但具体意思也不同

很多考生都会犯这样的错误:

力求避免重复单词

于是不顾准确度乱用同义词

需知过犹不及

这里要告诉大家的是:

①一些词就是没有可以直接替换的同义词

some words have no direct synonym

这时候不要强求

你可以使用代词:

●保留“schools”;

为了避免重复

下文使用代词 “they” 指代;

用“school canteens” 比“colleges”更精确

● 保留“food”;

用 “types of food”、“food options”

“more varied options ”避免单调

②没有同义词可以用的话

你不妨改写句子

if no direct synonym rewrite the sentence

比如:

●用更具体的“students”换掉“children”

● 用词组 “to put on weight”代替“obese”

Schools need to be more conscious of the types of food that they serve to children because obesity is a major health issue. They could perhaps utilize chefs to make healthier food options for their students. If school canteens served more varied options then the children would be less likely to put on weight.

词汇太单调

这是很多考鸭不能得高分的原因之一

其实大家可以尝试用一些“uncommon”的表达

注意:这些表达不要用太多!也不要跑题!

只有当它们是恰如其分的时候才可以用!

以这段话为例

你可以使用的词组词汇有:

dietary patterns,

sedentary lifestyles

health epidemic,

combat obesity

prevention……

Childhood obesity is a persistent health issue that can be partly attributed to the ways in which schools cater to their students. It is well know that cafeteria menus areseldom healthy and more often than not contain food items that are high in saturated fats and sugars. If schools were to overhaul their menus in favour of less calorie dense foods, there would no doubt be a decrease in the number of young people suffering from overweight issues.

这段改写中

避免了单词重复

同义表达也很准确

词组词汇很出彩,且和主题切实相关

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