(1) refer to the task question
(2) my opinion: this argument is too narrow -1 completely disagree
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1st reason for my opinion: the job market is unpredictable -example: technology replaces jobs but also creates new employment opportunities
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2nd reason: the real aim of education is to help people to think critically- this produces informed and responsible citizens
the job market is volatile, and the real role of education cannot be neglected – to develop critical skills
Secondly, I contend that the purpose of education is much more fundamental than simply to prepare young people for the world of work. Education is nothing less than the acquisition of lifelong skills in thinking critically about all aspects of life. At its best, secondary education plays an essential part of helping young people to develop these critical skills. If the citizens of a country are informed and enlightened, problems such as a welfare system or the distribution of wealth can be intelligently debated. Without mass education to this level, a country can have no responsible citizens.
In conclusion, although in today’s volatile global economy, any country’s employment situation is subject to rapid changes, the intangible but real objectives of education dictate that young people should be educated to at least secondary level.
It is now possible to perform everyday tasks, such as banking, shopping as well as business transactions without meeting people face to face. What are the possible effects it may bring on individuals and the society as a whole?
1）it 做主语，属于单数，接着动词要用单三形式，此处make改为makes .
2）“带来影响”地道的表达是 "exert an influence on" 或"have an effect /impact on".
3）electrical technology是电气技术，改为Internet technology and electronic devices互联网技术和电子设备。解析：electrical是“电力的、电气科学的”，一般表示电气或电力，electrical engineering电气工程, electrical appliance电器设备,此处不适用。electronic表示“电子的” ,常见的搭配是“electronic devices”电子设备。
4）网络不局限于用手机， on the Internet 比 on the phone 的范围更加广阔。或：byusing the Internet.
6）首段最后一句太宽泛，可以具体点说，同时带来了好处和坏处。This new high-tech trend has both benefits and drawbacks for single person and the society/ community.
7）第二段，可以先总写一句：On the one hand, internet tachnology has made people's life more convenient and productive.
8）第二段，"space time"是时空，空闲时间是"spare time"。搭配改成helps people save plenty of time.
9） 第二段中，"do tasks online are always easy to operation"动词原形不能做句首，可以加-ing,变成动名词。然后是"be easy to do sth"是固定搭配, operation要改成operate。接着后面的finish也该和going一样加-ing, 同时用accomplishing会更好。
10）第三段，生活节奏加快，这是如今的一个现象，其实不算是好处。然后 improve多写了一个，urban countries此处表达不恰当，建议删掉。
11）除了省时间，网络还有优点如：①网购的便利save both traveling expense and time，variety of choices. ②灵活办公的便利flexibility and efficiency.
12）尾段坏的影响要扩写，如：identity theft, lack of quality, reduce face-to-face interaction, cause social isolation等。